Anna Bazhenovskaya - talent is work

Anna is my cousin, we grew up together in Minsk and then our lives diverged. Until now…

I don’t know how many years passed since the last time we saw each other or even spoke. Family is never easy, but Life has a way of giving us another opportunity to seize the people in our lives with new eyes. We spent a week together in Italy at my parents’ house, the occasion: my brother’s wedding.
I discovered an extraordinary woman in her. This discovery fills me with joy in knowing that in our family, another woman paved her own path and is happy and satisfied with her life… that she is living in her genius! Anna’s genius didn’t come easy or “natural” as one may think, and this opened the door to a very important conversation around the topic of talent.

This interview explains in the most brilliant way what it means to have talent, what makes someone talented? And, aren’t we born with a talent?

Anya, when you were little, who did you dream of becoming?

Obstetrician-Gynecologist, I wanted to deliver babies. I really loved small children and for some reason, I could see myself delivering babies. 

That’s unexpected!! I had no idea… Is that what you studied?

No. Not at all - when I grew up I changed my mind about being a doctor. Although my mom, my uncle, my grandpa and my cousin are all doctors. My least favourite subjects in school were physics, chemistry and biology, which are precisely the things you need to study to become a doctor - and in the end, doctors earn too little for the effort, at least in Belarus.

I loved maths! Specifically algebra, not geometry so when we started working out problems with triangles etc. I became very good at cheating. Because I loved doing the math, I decided to become an economist and at the time I also fell in love with a much older guy who was already working in that profession. So in my head, I fantasized: I will also become an economist, a leading professional, and when we’ll meet again he’ll tell me that he’s very proud of me. Well, it did happen in fact that we met again and he did say he’s proud of me, but as a photographer, not an economist.

But photography has always been my thing. At every and any event, I had a camera in my hands. At the time, owning a camera wasn’t common and it was still analogue. Then I loved that all the photos I took were laid out in chronological order as I took them, for some reason it was important and I numbered them all at the back. 

When I started the Technical college to become a marketing economist, the first digital cameras appeared on the market. I remember as if it was today, I worked to buy my first digital camera for $50. I began experimenting with 50/50 digital and analogue, just always in auto mode. 

Okay so you graduated as an economist, but when and how did you pivot to become a professional photographer?

I got married and I followed my husband to live in Saudi Arabia for work. There my husband bought me my first semi-professional camera and I’m grateful that he set me up on this path, at the time he actually understood cameras more than I did. During the day I was taking photos in auto-mode, and they looked quite fine. But at night… I stumbled upon a problem, auto-mode wasn’t delivering the expected quality. So I went to my husband and asked him why these people with the same camera as mine, take excellent photos at night, but I wouldn’t manage. He sat me down and explained there exists something called diaphragm and iso which must be changed according to the amount of light in and the time of the day - I was like, What in the world is that?? He tried to teach me but I couldn’t understand…

Meanwhile, I met a Ukrainian girl who lived there for quite some time, she was married to a Saudi. She asked me to pose for her, she was studying photography online. It was one of my first experiences in front of the camera, I had already given birth to my son, who was maybe 3 months old at the time, and to this day I really love that photoshoot. When she sent me the photos, I immediately said I wanted to do it too. She gave me the name of her online school, which again at the time was probably the first online school in Russia teaching photography. I enrolled. By then we came back to live in Moscow.

The first tasks were extremely hard for me. I found it very hard to understand the iso and diaphragm and all the technical aspects of photography. It took me two months to pass the first task, but I trained myself for this to become automatic for me. So rather than putting the camera in auto-mode… I trained myself to become so good it’d be like driving a car. 

When it clicked I jumped out of joy!! After two months of taking an extraordinary amount of photos only to test and memorise the various settings, I finally figured out the aperture settings and all the rest!! Since then (it’s been over 10 years), I only shoot manually. I don’t even know where’s the auto function on the camera. I mean, I even shoot reportages manually. That’s the result of training my mind. 

There’s a slight misconception about talent and ease. If you have a talent and you have a pure interest in something, if that thing is “yours”... Then it will come somewhat easy. You’ve experienced the opposite… Or so it seems.

I don’t really believe that all people are born with some talent. Talent is work. Talent is something you train and educate. The difference is made by your interest. Like with you with cooking, you weren’t born talented in knowing how to make blinchiki, right? You learn and this brings you joy. For as long as I can remember, I loved taking photographs. Do I have a talent? Do I not have a talent? I find it hard to judge, but I studied all these years. I still like going to Masterclasses, taking a new course in photography, listening to lectures and overall updating my knowledge. You may think you know everything, yet every time I make some little new discovery and open a tiny door for myself. In a course of 20 lectures, there might be 1 lecture you need, and within that lecture… You realise you signed up for the entire course only to hear 10 minutes of that one lecture. 
I believe, every person needs to achieve their talent. We can’t drive a car, how can you say, he’s a talented driver when he wasn’t born with the wheel in his hands? Thus, I think talent is what you acquire and what you go toward. 

I don’t like cooking. Maybe I have a talent, but I don’t like to do it. When I cook something, it tastes good, but is that talent? Moreover, I don’t have an interest in developing it. I do have an interest in developing photography. 

Talent is an achievement based on what the person loves and chooses. We must cultivate talent because not everyone is given something at birth. And even when we are given something at birth, it’ll need honing. 

So we are born with, say interests?

Ok but how do we know what’s the interest we are born with? Interest, I think, awakens when we try out things. For example, you tried dancing, you tried basketball, you tried soccer… but no I don’t like any of those, I like playing the guitar. This also depends on the parents and how much they allow the child to refine himself. ‘My mom really wanted me to become a dancer, and she took me to ballet only. I was never interested, nonetheless, I could become a good dancer because I trained a lot.’ - Sounds familiar? 

Children must have a choice, they must be given the choice to experiment with as many things possible so as to stumble upon that one thing (maybe even a couple more) they find interesting - and it’s important that children learn to distinguish what’s their interest from that of their parents. Once they recognise their own interest, parents can support the child with the unravelling of said interests. When you’re on your path, doing what you really like doing - whatever that is - that’s when you’re truly happy. 

You might spend all your life as an economist, and even convince yourself that you like doing it. Then at 50 you try out sewing and discover that that’s the thing you love the most doing. I know a woman who at 40 years old walked away from a profession in politics, as mayor of a city, to dedicate herself to photography - she said she understood that’s “her thing”. But why did it take her this long to get it? Because before she didn’t have a chance to try out this, that and that. When she chose herself and listened to herself… she stepped down from a position she admitted she did not love, it didn’t matter she was successful. Of course, her parents and family were in shock. 

Why did you become a children’s photographer first? 

Well, many photographers at the start of their career - both men and women, perhaps more women - photograph their children. Why? Do you know why? 

Actually, let me tell you… Women have paid maternity leave for 3 years in Russia. In those 3 years, what happens in Russia is that many women finally come to find themselves - because they’re at home, with kids, away from their usual job, so they start questioning their own happiness and their lives. They also have the time to try out things, maybe they start baking for their child and discover a new passion for which before they had absolutely no time. I know someone who started baking for her kids and then turned it into a business. Another one might remember what she liked doing when she was younger and since she’s got time, she picks it up again. Another thing that happens is many women don’t go back to their jobs after maternity leave. So during these 3 years, women try out many courses until they find their thing.

So when I had little kids, who else could I use if not them to train my photography skills? So those moms who become photographers usually start out with photographing children, whereas men may start out as wedding photographers. Men of course don’t have paternity leave and they don’t have time for themselves, in our society it’s asked of them to take care of the family. 

When I was teaching photography online, one of my students was 50 years old - her children were grown up and out of the nest so she had the time to dedicate to herself, and also photography helped her deal with a bad illness because she found herself through the lens. Many women find themselves after 50 when finally they have time for themselves. I consider it important to allow our children to experiment with different things so as to decide sooner rather than later what they want to do with their life. 

And how did you go from being a children’s photographer to a women’s photographer, specialising in nude? 

It was a long process, I can say it was a process that began with me, it followed my transformation. As I started to change, my focus changed. I’ve been going to psychologists and coaches for 7 or 8 years now - I don’t just have one, I have quite a few. It all started because I was afraid to say no to people and speak my mind. I was raised this way to acknowledge husband’s always right - you’re a woman so be softer, be nicer, and be more understanding. So I started asking myself but how do I want things to be? What do I think? Not many agree with the way I am today, my mom still doesn’t accept my independence of thought - Nonetheless, I want to take this opportunity to thank my mom and my brother who’ve watched the kids every time I was away on a photography course. They might not understand me or agree with me but they still supported my evolution. My family too has been super supportive.

And so, I learned to forgive. I learned to love myself. I learned to accept the way I am, and not like someone envisions me to be. I learned how I like to dress, where I want to go, and whether I want to go with the family or this day I rather be alone. I started to listen to myself and choose myself.

I was also full of fixations about my body not being 90-60-90 ratio, having cellulite, and wrinkles. Especially, coming back from Saudi Arabia I found my mind was distorted. See even though I was a foreigner, I still had to abide by the rules, and whenever outside of the house, I wore a black abaya. Underneath it, I’d just wear underwear. Of course, there were places for shopping, but what was the point if I couldn’t wear evening dresses anyway? I’d spend time by our private pool or at the gym, so there wasn’t much dressing up happening. I lived 2 years not thinking about how to dress myself, so when I got back to Moscow and gave birth to my second child… well my body changed, I gained weight, and my boobs were enormous. Moreover, my head was full of stereotypes, ‘Don’t wear short skirts, it’s for prostitutes,’ ‘Don’t show your cleavage, that’s for prostitutes’.
And then I started the work on myself…

While I was photographing kids, although I was very successful, full of clients, exposing my photos at international exhibitions… I felt something was missing. And I thought there was something missing in my children's photography, so I went on a course… which I didn’t quite like, however in a lecture there was a woman photographer talking about her work of photographing women and at that moment I understood: I want to photograph women.

So I called up my regular client - the one who’s up for anything - and I told her my idea of photographing her at home with a certain light, just to try out something. Anyway, I remember I had photographed her other times, even skiing in a swimsuit at -10 and then another time I undid her dress to photograph her back - she has a beautiful back. So I think I already had some thoughts about undressing, but they weren’t mature. 
She agreed to experiment. I showed up with two cameras - one having the Soviet objective, and one small enough to go unnoticed should she get self-conscious. We started and I said, ‘Let’s move into the shower’ and then ‘Let's drink milk’ … of course, milk spilled out of her mouth, and we made a mess of the kitchen. I didn’t put her on my Instagram account because I still had a profile full of children, but I’d show the photos among my clients. Soon enough others wanted to be photographed this way. 

Now I was faced with a dilemma: how to transition to “woman’s nude photographer” when I’ve been known as a children’s photographer? I remember it was June when I went to my coach with this question. She said to try, maybe my clients were waiting for that. In September, I finally posted the new images and changed entirely my description. A lot of women who I’ve photographed in family settings, came back to me to be photographed naked straightaway. Others needed more time but they eventually came around too.

Women come to me for different reasons. What I do is so much more than taking beautiful photos. Some women came to me after a divorce, to feel desirable again; Some came because they finally started loving themselves; One of my clients, who’s been coming periodically, takes these photo sessions as sessions with a psychologist for she began to love herself after seeing herself in the photographs I took of her. She also lost weight, not because she felt she had to, but because she started to love herself and out of that love started making decisions for her best. All because she saw herself differently, I showed her her beauty. 

I would say, there’s two types of women who I get to photograph: those who love and accept themselves, and those who need to see themselves differently in order to begin their self-love process - but they might not know it just yet. I had a client who returned to me unhappy when I sent her her photos, she said she didn’t like herself smiling. I pointed out to her, ‘Aren’t you a director?’ She answered yes. I said, ‘Don’t you think you became too accustomed to seeing yourself serious all the time? So you don’t accept yourself smiling because you are not used to it. You don’t show yourself this way.’ Well after that she changed. She even got a different haircut and softened. 

I mean … I’m mad about this process! I am absolutely in love with what I do! When I get to witness female beauty - her ass, her breasts, her hands, her body… - I go out of my mind during the photo session. I love that I can show it to them too because they usually see themselves one way, facing the mirror, yet there are angles to the body and when the light falls just right on those angles… You may never see the wonders you are made of.
Ideal people don’t exist. When they say they got cellulite, I say ok go sit over there… Then I show them the photo and they can’t believe it’s them. Well, it’s just the two of us in the room. What changed is the light and the angles, the composition. I don’t even Photoshop. The thing is, when we look at ourselves in the mirror… for some reason we love to criticize ourselves. 

I think because we’re not taught to even look for beauty. How revolutionary it would be if we asked ourselves, whilst looking at our naked body in the mirror, how does beauty manifest in me? 

Yes, our minds are filled with ideas of worthiness held by the collective. At one point, it was beautiful to have no boobs; then, came along Pamela Anderson and everyone wanted boobs regardless they looked good on their figure or not.

I understand there are times in a woman’s life, like after breastfeeding, when boobs disappear and you may miss what you had before. So for aesthetic reasons, you get a boob job that fits what you already had. That’s the norm. So sometimes there are little fixes to be done, but there’s no point in following body trends because today it’s hot being skinny, and tomorrow it’s hot being fat, and the day after that it’s going to be hot being bold. Are you for real going to change yourself every year? 

They say cellulite is bad. Having a tummy is bad. Wrinkles are bad. Why? Tell me why? I don’t like when people use Instagram filters to even out their faces. But if you’ve got a few lines already at 20… Where’s the problem? They’re there because you smiled, you laughed, you cried. It’s the story of you! Why is that bad? 

Society makes women worry for themselves at all times, instead of taking care of themselves.

Yes because the collective for some reason dictates otherwise. It’s also the same thing in photography. A top photographer may release a new image with a process of shooting, suddenly everyone says that’s how everyone should do it because he “a top photographer” shoots that way. I don’t say it’s right or wrong, but then when “the top photographer” goes back to shooting in the normal way…. trend changes again. 

Both men and women need to find themselves. I’m observing in Russia this shift, women are starting to go to psychologists to finally take care of themselves. 

And a good exercise for women is to see ourselves in a full-length mirror, dance naked in front of it, and look at every part of the body - we got an ass, we got boobs, we got thighs… 

Russia is more open to my profession, whereas here in Italy I found people alarmed when I told them I’m a nude photographer. But I mean, you don’t have to show it to people. A lot of my work doesn’t make Instagram or other public spaces, it’s only for the women I photograph. 

I love this. It shows how they don’t need validation from strangers.

Many women gift those photos to their men. And men, when they know they come to me, send me what they would like to see of their woman. It’s a private matter. I always respect the will of my clients.

My wish is for all women to love themselves and accept themselves. And perhaps that’s where we’re heading… And especially teach our daughters to love themselves. Let our daughters be whoever they want to be. 
On a photo session, some time ago, a mother brought in her daughter. She was so pretty but so unhappy, she had tears in her eyes so miserable she felt being photographed. But the mother, O the mother was a cow whose wish to be a model never came true and she saw that opportunity for herself seeing her beautiful daughter. But I know another little girl, who’se an actress and who adores the entire process of filming and photography. being in the spotlight is her jam. These are two different girls with two distinct dreams.

So perhaps it all starts with children… 

IN CONCLUSION….
What doesn’t transpire from the interview, and that I’d like to point out, is how Anna is not your stereotypical photographer hiding behind the lens. She is in front of the camera as much as she is behind it. For some traditional photographers that’s an absolute no-no. What I’ve observed during our time together is how absolutely comfortable she is photographing herself, how much she loves to photograph herself… a kind of love that hasn’t to do with vanity. Photography for her is a tool of love. A vehicle for witnessing beauty. She told me that photographing herself, knowing her own angles, makes her a better women’s photographer; because she once was in the place of those women who were at war with their bodies, she can guide them out of the trenches and into an oasis.
I find this so completely inspiring! We live in a time when taking selfies has been classified as narcissism, so it’s hard to recognise when photographing oneself is but a work of self-love and self-acceptance. Dare I say it can be a revolutionary act? Moreover, I wonder, having found her own beauty and taking absolute pleasure in it… when she photographs other women, she photographs them and not a version of herself - if you know what I mean, she doesn’t need to look for herself in others. This is genius!

For Anna’s website, click here.